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This means sending out more cold e-mails, dealing with more rejections and more dates that go nowhere. It’s part of the price of entry, and it’s better that adjust your expectations accordingly instead of dealing with the slow burn of “WHY WON’T THE MAGICAL BOX PROVIDE ME WITH SEX?” Remember what I said earlier about how we mentally filter people into “attractive” and “not attractive” when we meet them in person? Here's what I've learned about writing a good ad: 1. Props that make you feel soulful, frisky, and fascinating help you make those claims for yourself in your ad. It might sound obvious, but be sure to post a terrific photo of yourself. More to the point: I wanted to attract a man who appreciated subtlety. Studies show that between 75% to 93% of communication is non-verbal.
At the same time, you’re less likely to have success when dealing with dating/hook-up apps like Grindr or Tinder. Speaking of the offline dating mindset: you’re going to have to accept that online dating is even more of a numbers game than dating in IRL or meatspace or whatever the cool kids are calling “the world” these days.
A woman I know snagged a boyfriend when she described her ideal job as a combination of circus performer and archaeologist. Unless you know for sure that you only want to meet, say, a nonsmoking Portuguese-speaking dentist, go easy on the list of qualities he must have.
Don't "like fine dining" when you can be passionate about Memphis barbecue, don't "enjoy movies" when you can declare your enthusiasm for Mel Brooks. Include the basics: your age and occupation, whether or not you have children, whether you're looking for a date or a life partner. "Mid-30s" or "early 40s" is fine, but assume he'll round up.8.
Twelve years ago, I took a chance and wrote a personal ad.
My finished product reflected my attitude at the time—a combination of "you have to play to win" and "hey, why not?
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If you're not comfortable putting your picture up online, avoid overselling your appearance with dubious claims like "Sharon Stone look-alike." I started my magazine personal with: "Curvy, almond-eyed writer, fit (good shoulders)...." My husband says he was attracted to the soft sell of the description and the quirky confidence of the assertion.